I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
