I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
