I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
