You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
