Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
