Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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