Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
