READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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