just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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