Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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