Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
