If i come over, it means nothing
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
