are you still at the devil's house?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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