dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
