Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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