i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
