sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
