Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
