Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
