FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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