I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
