i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
