Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
