I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
