I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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