did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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