Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
