found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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