He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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