1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
