that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
