I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
