Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
