I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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