I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
