I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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