when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
