I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Help. Why am I so naked?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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