I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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