He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
