Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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