I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
