and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
