I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
