Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
stop calling my apartment porn island.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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