ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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