My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
