So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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