and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
