is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
